


Broken Yolk

by vfordonkey



Category: Parks and Recreation
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Gen, Male-Female Friendship, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-16
Updated: 2016-11-14
Packaged: 2018-08-09 03:31:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,125
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7785046
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vfordonkey/pseuds/vfordonkey
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><em>To be fair, they’d only been doing their job. Of course, it takes Leslie 3 months of therapy, a pack of cigarettes and 5 beers to admit that.</em> // Six months after the state auditors cut Leslie's job at the Parks Department, Ben Wyatt returns. // {Set after S02E24, except Ron can't save Leslie's job; canon divergent}</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my _very_ first story in the fandom! Show me some love!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Narrative is non linear.

To be fair, they’d only been doing their job. Of course, it takes Leslie 3 months of therapy, a pack of cigarettes and 5 beers to admit that. 

* * *

Her depression must have shown, because three weeks after they cut her job and shut down the government, Donna volunteered her family's lake house for a treat yo self weekend, whatever that was supposed to mean. The weekend itself was somewhat terrible. Everyone had that look in their eyes, the look she'd not seen since she was ten and her father had died. Ron Swanson had made her coffee in the kitchen and asked her to _talk_.

Andy had stumbled into the kitchen then, saving her the botheration of a reply, spilling water on the floor and flailing to find support so as to not fall flat on his face, only to take down half the kitchen in his descent. He stands up with a sheepish look on his face. "I'm okay", he beams as Leslie doubles over in laughter and everyone runs into the kitchen to see what happened. Donna yells ("rule number 5 says no messing up the kitchen!"), Ann rushes into nurse mode ("Andy, you just recovered after breaking your arm!"), April goes back to texting and Tom shuffles away. 

A week later, April moves away to Indianapolis and the week after that, Leslie starts dating Andy.

"I still don't get it" Ann says to Ron, four weeks after Leslie and Andy are still together and everyone's called the bets off. "Is it some form of compensation? Is it because she thinks she failed at her job somehow? Is it because she couldn’t bear the idea of Andy moping around? I mean, if Andy and I were poles apart, Leslie and Andy belong to two different planets. I love Leslie, she's my best friend. I love her with all my heart and soul and she is the most important thing to me, you know? But" she pauses and looks up to his face. "it's just... It's Andy and Leslie.. they don't even have chemistry and-"

"It's none of our business, Wendy" he says. 

" _Why_  you insist on using a different name every time is really beyond me. I mean,  _really,_ Ron, it's been a week now and I think that..."

He tunes her out.

* * *

 When Ann asks her, after 4 glasses of wine, why she was with _Andy_ of all people, Leslie smiles and says it's because he made her laugh.

She loves Andy. You'd have to be an asshole to not love Andy. But she knows, that they're not in love with each other. There's this unspoken agreement that one day, they'll fall right out of this relationship and back into friendship and it will be as if these months had never happened. Theirs was a relationship that just worked, whether the romantic aspect of the relationship remained or not. 

Ann says that's ridiculous but Leslie  _knows_.

* * *

April waits for Andy to call, her stomach twisting tighter and tighter as the days go by and no phone call lights up the screen. 

On the third day of her vigil, Ben keeps a veggie muffin on her table. 

* * *

A week after Ann had dumped him, Leslie had to drive Mark home from the Snakehole Lounge and in the car, he talked. "Life is funny. It's a test, Lessie" he slurred. "It's all a giant fucking test. How much can you take, you know? It's all a giant test. Everything is a test. Ever thought about that?" and then, he'd leaned against the door. "This", he said sadly, "is another test". 

"That's not very funny." she'd said. 

"Hey! hey hey hey" He'd slurred back and then smiled vacantly. "Just because no one's laughing, doesn't mean it's not funny Lessie". Leslie processes the words, as Mark bursts into giggles. 

Then, he'd made her stop the car. She rubbed his back as he emptied his guts on the streets. 

* * *

 Ben stares up at the ceiling and thinks about Leslie Knope, concert organizer extraordinaire and blonde pain in the ass, in therapy for depression.

* * *

She found herself a job at the community college as a history professor and pretty soon, she makes head of the department. It's not that difficult, seeing that most of the professors are burned out people, teaching unenthusiastic kids with a shitty pay grade. The job gives her binders to fill, papers to grade and lessons to plan, scrapbooks to create and money to spend on waffles and the earth is is slowly coming back under her feet and compared to what some of her former colleagues had to go through, she got seriously lucky.

But some days, she passes by City Hall and her heart hammers against her ribs and her tongue feels dry and her breathing turns shallow.

Those days, she goes home and empties an entire can of whipped cream on her waffles, pours herself a glass of scotch and claims a headache when Andy asks where they should meet.

* * *

It's just that she'd always been taught that hard work pays off and while the irony in her being laid off specifically because she worked harder than everyone else is amusing, it also means she wakes up at 4:00 am every morning and re-evaluates the meaning of getting off the bed. 

* * *

April hears about Leslie and Andy after they break up from Jerry Gergich, no less. He's in Indianapolis for some work and runs into Chris who insists that hosting him for dinner would  _literally_ be the most wonderful thing in the world. They chat a little, and then Chris asks about everyone in Pawnee. April looks down to her phone. 

"Well, two weeks after the government was back, Donna quit and now she's managing her real estate business. Tom's gotten promoted to office manager and Ron... well, he's Ron. With Leslie gone, the parks just about get maintained and that is it. It's a little dull, I can tell ya. Poor Leslie saw the worst of it. Ron and Ann forced her to see a therapist for a little bit, because she was depressed. But Leslie's Leslie, picked up a job at the community college. She and Andy even dated for two and a half months. They broke up like a while ago. It helped both of them, I think. I mean, Andy was so cut up after April left, he even quit music for a bit and now..." his voice trails off as he realizes that he's said way more than he should have.

April's keeps looking down at her phone, hands clutching the end of her skirt tightly as Chris jumps in brightly and says the reason he called Jerry over for dinner because he's and Ben had the most _wonderful_ news to share. April looks up, but her stomach is twisting and her palms are shaking. 

"Ben and I are going back to Pawnee! I was asked to be City Manager and of course, I asked Ben to be my assistant. April. Ludgate. You _have_ to join us. There nothing in the world that would that would make us happier. All three of us, back in Pawnee. Isn't it literally the greatest thing in the world?"

"Yes" she says. "the greatest."

* * *

"What did you _ever_ see in Tammy II?" asks Ann, one day. Ron cuts into his meat tornado. "I mean", Ann continues, "your ex wife is a she demon. I went to the library today to get some things- _don't tell Leslie_ -and she totally sneaked up behind me and asked me if you and I were going out. When I said no, she took out the heavy dictionary she'd been _hiding behind her back_ and I got so freaked out, I left without the book."

"Well, Miranda" begins Ron, as Ann rolls her eyes, "her glorious puss-"

"Don't finish that fucking sentence, Swanson" Ann growls. 

Ron's mustache twitches.  "Well, there's her mouth too." he adds, after a beat.

Ann groans. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

"I need new furniture" she announces while putting down her lunch on the table. Ron doesn't look away from the wood he's whitling. He's already set out a glass of white wine for her and whiskey for him.  

"I don't care" 

"I'm doing a complete overhaul of everything. I need to sell the shit I have already before buying new stuff. I'm thinking oak, you know. Make the house all woodsy and warm. No wicker"

Ron looks up.

"wicker", Ann says, before taking a sip of her wine, "is for pussies"

* * *

What do you even say to a man who fired you, after you bought him beer at 10:30 in the morning and he bought you Freddy Spaghetti?

* * *

It's 11:00 am on a Tuesday and he's got a major case of shoe shine head when someone taps him on his shoulder. 

"April?"

Her hair's shorter and she's holding out a take-out bag from Big Head Joe's and she's smiling that smile that could mean anything from 'I'm glad you exist' to 'I'm going to die and haunt your dreams'. He subtly pinches himself (and subsequently shouts out "ow!") when she steps up and takes up the unoccupied seat 

"Hey". Her voice is exactly how he remembers it, which is dumb because she's only been gone six months and voices don't change in six months but it _means_ something, that her voice is how he remembers it. 

There's no one else around and she's leaning in conspiratorially and he leans in as well, screw the shoe shine head. 

"So", she asks, "what's sex with Leslie even like?"

* * *

Out of all the ways he could have run into Leslie Knope, it had to be while he was doing a dinner run at 1:00 AM on a Wednesday at JJ's Diner. She doesn't notice him, her brow furrowed and her expression one of irritation and impatience as she read something on the laptop and Ben is grateful because it gives him time to come up with some response. 

She looks up then, and their eyes meet. 

It's moments like these when Ben imagines becoming a different person. Maybe a child running on the streets, heart racing and ears ringing with his mother's yells. Or some old woman, with bitterness oozing out of her pores. Both of these realities are unappealing, but easier. They don't have tired, blue eyes staring into his with recognition and caution. 

He doesn't know anyone who _doesn't_ want to escape, but he has a feeling that Leslie Knope has never wanted to be anyone but the complete and unabashed version of herself. 

"Your omelette and coffee to go, anything else?" asks the girl at the register. He turns away from Leslie, and shakes his head. 

* * *

What Leslie remembers of kissing Ben, is the sour saliva coating her mouth, the sensation of being pushed away for being too drunk and dark brown eyes looking at her with regret.  
  
_Fuck_ Snakejuice.

* * *

"I don't publicly endorse a product unless I exclusively use it and believe in it, Jane"

"Come ON, Ron. He texts _me_ and he _whines_  constantly"

"Can't imagine what it's like to tolerate someone whining" 

Ann glares at him. 

"Fine. I'll shave Tom's head and next time Tammy II comes by the hospital, I'll switch out her prescription so her hair falls out if you don't like his drink. If you do, you have to endorse it and you have to call me Ann."

"Fine"

"Fine"

* * *

Her doorbell rings and it increases the pounding in her head, but Leslie still manages to crawl out of bed and open the door. 

"April?"

She thrusts a piece of paper in Leslie's hand and walks into her house. 

"You're getting married to Andy... _day after tomorrow_?"

"Yeah"

"April, that's a _horrible_ idea. You both have only been dating for _one week,_ right? Don't do this right now. You both have something incredible and you shouldn't ruin it because of hasty decisions like this. Look, I know the _romance_ of it all is incredibly appealing, but you- you- we should make a pros and cons list and let me just get a sheet of paper, okay? Are you pregnant? Are you afraid of what people will say? Because you don't have to worry one bit. You can stay with me and I'll personally cut people's heads off if they so much as _breathe_ wrong around you and I'll wave their heads in front of their weeping mothers, you don't even have to give me the word, and don't you worry, if you don't have money for an abortion, I'll help you pay for it and if you want to keep the baby, I'll help you raise the child. Sweetheart, you're so young and life has so much to offer and _why are you smiling?"_

April walks forward and engulfs Leslie in a hug. 

"I love you, Leslie. And I kind of, sort of, have a gift for you. They had a job opening as Regional Director of National Park Service and Andy and I kind of, sort of applied on your behalf and... you have an interview next week."

"April, I-"

"I only did it because you're too cool for that lame college and its lame people, you know?" she says, as she disentangles herself from the hug, places the envelope and walks out of Leslie's house. "You know you'd be great at it" she says, as she shuts the door behind her.

Leslie looks at the envelope on her dining table. 

And if she cries as she reads the letter for the fifth time in that hour, it's really no one's business. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> April's surprising acceptance of Leslie and Andy dating, how Leslie snagged the interview despite being fired from her job, Ben and Leslie, it'll all come to head. Sorry for the delay, thank you so much for reading!!!! I love you guys, please send some love my way, if you liked the story. Constructive criticism is always welcome.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> SO SORRY FOR THE DELAY. I SWEAR, ITS LIKE MY LUCK PILED UP AGAINST ME. HERE IT IS.

 

"New beginnings, right?" April asks.

"Is anything ever really new?" Orin replies. 

* * *

 

April and Andy get married on a sunny Tuesday, (I hate it, growls April), with Jerry and Leslie officiating the wedding together and no one knows whom to give the "if you hurt them" speech, so all of them decide to give it to both of them together, and it should be serious but Andy giggles and April smirks when Ben says he'll thump them if they screw this up so that entire hour is generally declared to be a waste. Leslie wishes them both luck, but Ann knows that look in her eye. The pre-emotion of smugness, the preamble to "I told you so". The disbelief in the idea that her two boneheads are getting married and staying married. The panic in knowing for certain that they're rushing into it and marriage is a commitment neither are mature enough to see through. 

But Ann also sees the warmth in April's eyes when she looks at Andy. She also sees Andy standing straighter, and taller, when he looks at April. She sees them hold hand, quietly. She sees them ask questions, already accepting the answer the other will give.

"Maybe, Leslie", she says, after the wedding service, "maybe they'll surprise you."

* * *

 

It's hour 9 and everyone is wasted, and Leslie is looking at a spaced out Ben talking of star wars, and thinking of how she'll complete Tom's bet. 

Because of course they're drunk, and it's a bet, and Ben is actually nice (they have the same Ken Burns documentary recording at home) and she wants to fucking do it. Tom insulted her scrap booking skills somewhere, and Leslie needs to prove she's a good scrap-booker by kissing Ben. (How are they even related, asks Ann, the designated driver.)

So she goes in for it, and gets pushed away. Ben's eyes are gooey with regret and maybe longing, but his smile is vacant. "I really wanna, but consent is not consent when obtained under drunkness".

He pukes all over her shoes after that, and in the rush to get her napkins and water, it may be possible that she falls in love with him. 

* * *

 

What makes the decision for her, really, is that despite whatever she claimed, April did miss Andy and she did think about him every single day she was in Indianapolis.

 

 

* * *

Once Tom had told her the story of a man who escaped death at the hands of some cannibals, because he crushed pepper on his head before leaving house and the cannibal who wanted to eat him sneezed so violently that he figured he was allergic to the man and that story for some reason, suddenly makes perfect sense because she's wearing her cutest bra and Ben Wyatt is asking if she was down to watch an old films festival down at Bloomington.

* * *

 

Ann misses their lunch appointment one day, so Ron Swanson heads to the hospital with a salad and a meat tornado and they eat in the cafeteria of the hospital and Ann teases him about missing her. 

"Do shut up, Kelly" 

"Or what? you'll come down to the hospital again, get me lunch?"

Ron glares at her, and she smirks. "No, I'll tell you all about Tammy II's glorious pussy".

"GROSS, Ron"

"the hair creates an interesting sensation on my-"

Ann covers her ears.

* * *

 

Sunday afternoon with nothing to do means for Ben, running to JJ's (the place has grown on him) with his laptop to complete his fan-fiction and then abandoning that plan to sit with Leslie Knope and... talk.

Of course, when they do see each other, it's fucking awkward. No movies or books about what to do when you see a person you're maybe-slightly attracted to is also the person you got fired, then refused to kiss and then puked all over. But then Leslie says, oh screw it, and they laugh uncomfortably and the awkwardness magnifies as he sits down, and then fizzles away as conversation builds momentum 

Later, when conversation lulls, and he's no longer trying to live down the shame of blasting whomp! there it is after becoming the mayor, she tells him quietly that he shouldn't feel guilty because he just did his job and it took her time to accept that, but it was what it was. 

Later, when conversation lulls, and she's no longer trying to live down the shame of being dumped in the shower after dreaming up wedding cakes for a day, he tells her that she was worth more than the whole of city hall anyway.

* * *

"I did it", Ann announced. 

"Did what?"

"Made Tammy II's hair fall out"

Ron stares at her for a full minute and then giggles inhumanly.

 

"Well, then, Rita. Didn't think you had it in you"

Ann sits down and primly opens up her box of salad. 

"I didn't know you had 100 bucks to bet against Tom that I would do it. How's that looking? Tell him to cough up"

Ron smirks and reaches for the bottle of whiskey. Ann reaches for the landmine. 

* * *

 

Fin.

 

 

 

 

 

 


End file.
